Friday, August 24, 2007

The Opposite of Sexy


Sexy is in the eye of the beholder. In the brain of the beholder. It's too variable to be pinned down. Your sexy muthafucka might be my instant wood-killer, and vice versa. But really... Mariah. Ain't sexy. Maybe she is in that faded porn-star, "Oooooh, I bet she let'choo do N-E-THANG you wanna do" kinda way. Except Mariah is constitutionally incapable of giving off actual sexual heat, let alone suggesting that she has an arsenal of sex tricks up her sleeve. She's seventy years old and comes off like a retarded ingenue. The thing is, when she ain't being ridiculous (i.e., posing for pictures like the one above; being the Diva of Ditz on MTV) and really puts her mind to it, she still makes fantastic music. Emancipation of Mimi had some undeniable gems on it, some classic r&b grooves she worked the hell out of. I'm looking forward to the new album... to see if she's still hungery, if she's held on to that do-or-die / I'm reclaiming mine focus she had when making Emancipation, or if the comeback has made her lazy and self-indulgent again.

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