Thursday, March 17, 2011

Mindful Tool, from Gary Kobat

Every fear or insecurity we have about ourselves is a button waiting to be pushed.
The fact that people push these buttons is not at all remarkable.
What is remarkable is that we blame them for pushing them.
When others trigger us, our reaction has nothing to do with the other person.
Our reaction shows us where we are in conflict, not where the other person is.
When we wear a sign that says "hit me", are we surprised that a few people
come along and take it literally?
Some people who attack us think we want them to do it.
And we allow them to do it.
The abuse will stop when we learn how to say "This is unacceptable. I will not permit it."
Until we have the courage to stand up for ourselves fully,
someone will always be around to abuse.
Actually, we will keep calling them in until we decide that we have had enough.
Don't blame them.
Ask instead, "Why did I allow myself, once again, to be drawn into a situation
in which I am not respected and listened to?
See our own low self-esteem. See how we accept love at any price. See how we keep
recycling fear and abandonment because we are afraid to face it head on.
Stand up and stop the game. Refuse to be an object, even though being
an object seems to offer us the attention we desire.
See the broken promises and tears of regret. Conditional love has given us nothing,
it just deepens feelings of abandonment and fear.
Let us remind ourselves that we decided to play the game, we gave permission.
Take responsibility. Acknowledge, learn, and don't repeat.
Until we say yes to ourselves, we won't be able to say no to others.
Others don't betray us, we betray ourselves.
Without their help, our awakening process would take considerably longer.
They teach us, we teach them.
We are equal passengers on the same journey.
Be patient. This is the journey of self-empowerment.
And when the self is fully empowered, abuse will be impossible...
... and the possibilities infinite.


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